A Tear in Everything


"Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands
and put my finger into the nailmarks
and put my hand into his side, I will not believe."  John 20:25


I had a vision. There was a tear in everything. My side was open and I could see the organs inside. I held my hand there to keep them from falling out. Others had a similar wound. The earth itself bore such a wound. It opened upon an abyss of suffering and lamentations. The sky, too, bore a wound. From it the heavens cried out for relief, for the heart of the cosmos bled. And beyond, the body of the Lord was likewise wounded, the Godly flesh torn, and blood and water issued, mingling with the waters of the firmament and the oceans and seas of the earth.

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I cut myself, the smallest of wounds, barely noticeable. But the cut became infected and spread, infecting my whole body. Beyond that, even, my soul became infected. I was plagued with disturbing dreams and the sense that all was lost. I called several doctors until I found the right one. He proposed, through means I cannot understand (for I am not a doctor) to transfer the infection to himself. The doctor died (so I have been told) so that I could live. But why do I see him still when I walk through the streets.

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